What to do before…
1. Get there early
Life is busy. And complicated. And whilst some of us find it easy to be punctual, let’s be honest, many of us don’t. Turning up late is, of course, better than not turning up at all, but better still is getting to church early enough to welcome others. Such occasions sound like miracles, but they do happen. Try it. It’s hard to get the children out of the house at any time of day. Many of us know this. It’s also hard to walk away from a Sunday afternoon with friends or to get up off the sofa whilst watching the sport. But when visitors arrive to find nobody here to welcome them, it doesn’t create a great impression!
2. Say hello to people
We enjoy catching up with friends at church. It’s part of our life together. But we also want to have an eye for newcomers. We want to give them space (some may prefer to sit at the back or on their own to begin with) but we also want to introduce ourselves so that they feel comfortable with us and know what’s going on. This is especially helpful when people come with children and want the reassurance of knowing where the crèche is and what provision is made for children. Genuine, relaxed hospitality breaks a lot of preconceptions. And it’s often what brings people back.
And don’t worry if you forget names. We all do. Ask people again in a friendly way.
3. Think about where you sit
To make the most of the formal part of our gathering, it’s worth thinking about where you’re going to sit. You may have children in with you for part of the service, in which case you’ll want to think about where’s best for them to sit in order to engage with what’s happening at the front. Or you may have guests with you, in which case you might want to sit near friends so you can introduce them. Or you may see a visitor or a family you don’t know, in which case choosing to sit with them so that you can say “hello” and welcome them is a great thing to do. It may not seem like a big deal, but if we come to church thinking about how to serve others, then thinking about where we sit and who we sit with is a sensible thing to do.
4. Pray for what is about to happen
Let’s begin with praising God for his grace, then let’s pray for all of us, that our hearts will be receptive to God’s Spirit as he speaks to us through God’s word. Pray for the preacher, the musicians, and others involved in leading the service: that God will be glorified through them and that our faith in him will be strengthened. And pray for conversations afterwards, that they would be helpful for building each other up. So often when we pray for God’s help we find we go home having had one or two really significant conversations.
What to do during…
1. Listen actively
Listen carefully to what God is saying to us in his word. Think carefully about what you are hearing and what you might need to change in your life as you respond to God’s word. People ‘in the pews’ also have an enormous impact on those who are teaching and leading. Communication is always a two-way process. Eye contact, body language and other basic responses make a big difference to the sense of engagement during the service. Our active listening will also infect others with enthusiasm for God’s word, just as our fidgeting or lack of engagement will distract them. Unbelievers amongst us will also pick up that these ideas are worth listening to if they see rows of regulars tuned in, soaking up the Bible and taking notes.
2. Sing with ‘heart’
Singing is a chance for us to praise God for who he is, what he has done and what he is now teaching us, and for declaring what it is we believe. We sing because our God and his salvation are too wonderful just to talk about. The way we sing is a demonstration of our heart’s devotion to God, both for God’s sake, and for the sake of others who will be encouraged to see us abandoning our inhibitions for the sake of praising God. It doesn’t matter whether we are good or bad at singing, or whether or not we raise our hands or close our eyes. What matters is the heart.
And while we’re on the topic of volume, let’s hear ‘AMEN’ loud and clear. You do agree with the prayers, and earnestly wish for God to answer them, don’t you?
3. Get with the programme
At a church like St John’s there’s a lot going on. That means we always have plenty to cover in our Noticesheet – guest events, away days, social engagement ministries – and lots more. Many of these need your practical help and many of them simply need to find their way in to your diary. If one of you is busy in crèche or helping with the children’s work that doesn’t always happen! We can serve one another by engaging with what’s coming up over the next few weeks, by talking to others about it (enthusiasm is usually contagious) and by encouraging people to join us at a particular event. Rather than being consumers who browse the menu for what’s on offer we can behave like brothers and sisters who support family events.
4. Look for ways you can help
‘One body, many parts,’ means we all have a part to play. Which means if something needs doing, don’t always leave it to someone else! This might involve logistics (shifting chairs, closing doors, clearing up the mess) but more often than not it will involve people. That’s where we most need to be on the ball. If a baby is crying and mum & dad aren’t sure whether to step outside or where to go, we can help them. If a new family don’t look very sure of what’s happening or don’t have anyone to talk to, go and say hello – and introduce them to others. Whatever it is, don’t just leave it to someone else.
What to do after…
1. Talk about God’s word
Beware of the ‘hairdresser’s conversation’ – the kind of one-to-one discussion that is mechanical, superficial and empty. Many of us are uncomfortable starting up ‘spiritual’ conversations. We shouldn’t be, but we are. If we get the ball rolling, however, others will pick it up. Asking “what did you think of the sermon?” is a good place to start. You can ask that of anyone, regardless of how long they’ve been at church or what they might think about the Christian faith. You can then add, “wasn’t that a great point about…” and the conversation flows from there. When something’s grabbed your heart it’s a good thing to share it!
This kind of conversation is very normal amongst Christians who have come to church to build each other up. We want to be about more than just coffee and polite conversation on Sundays. We want to ask about more than simply ‘how was your weekend?’ And talking about God’s word is a good place to start. Give it a go! Our conversations can be as much an opportunity for ‘Bible ministry’ as the sermon.
2. Pray with others
Use the time after the service to meet people, ask about their concerns and pray with them. This may look a bit odd to newcomers at first – pairs of bowed heads all around the building – but they will know that we love each other, that we take the Christian life seriously and that we trust God’s providence. As a general rule, it’s usually a good idea to pray with someone and as a church it would be great to turn more of our conversations in to prayer each week. Why not try it?
Ask if you would like to chat and pray with someone. This might simply be in response to an encouragement from the previous week or something in the sermon, or it may be about a particular issue for which prayer and counselling from one of the pastors would be appropriate.
3. Engage with newcomers
Newcomers tend to leave fairly quickly so we need to move fast by identifying visitors and introducing ourselves to them immediately after the service ends. This is everyone’s responsibility. It’s about being intentional: make sure newcomers are welcomed properly by you and by your friends, and maybe introduce them to one of the staff. Ask them if there is any particular information they would find helpful to have (crèche, toddlers, Pathfinders, Homegroups, giving etc). Think of what happens when you ask where the asparagus is in the supermarket: you are taken to it. So take them to someone who knows. You may have to postpone catching up with friends until after the newcomers have been cared for, but this is part of serving others.
4. Encourage others
If you can, hang around afterwards to encourage others, whether in deep conversation or just through being a good friend. Perhaps pray each week that God will direct you to one person for a conversation that will encourage them. Of course, we have busy lives and lots of responsibilities. And children only add to that. And of course there will be Sundays when we simply cannot hang around for long afterwards. But let’s try to be people who serve by hanging around for the good of others, rather than consumers who drift in late and slip off early – dipping in and out only when it suits us.
The more we grasp this, the more we’ll enjoy it, because the biggest encouragements in the Christian life usually come in the form of people – which means spending time together.
Adapted from material produced by Dundonald Church, Wimbledon – with thanks!